{inspiration: poem)

i'm learning to be more cheerful today after the tragic news of my grandmother's death. in the back of my head, i will always miss her and my grandpa, too. i probably won't forget about them this life time. but i'm moving on now to live my life. maybe every once in a while i will think of them, will miss them, and will shed a tear or two. maybe some day i will cry harder than the other, but i will be okay. i'll just pray. sometimes i think about how strange life is; how God gave me families and then take them away again...so that we can live together forever in the end. i can't wait to perform my grandmother's baptism for her in the temple...so glad she was a Christian before she passed. if i shall see her again one day, i'll hold her tight and tell her how much i missed her. and if i get to choose, i'll make my mother love my father again. and he'll treat her like a queen. if i get to dream, i want to dream that all my siblings are active again in the church.

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random WHYs:

why is Mae always so amused by my toe nails?
especially when i wiggle them.

until this day i am still wondering
why our sink faucets turn opposite directions.

why it is that everytime when things are looking up, life kicks you on the crotch.
(Brandon's quote)

why is it still raining in June?

after 3 long years of waiting to get into the radiology program, i finally got in. then, life slaps you in the face. why is time working against me? why now? perhaps, Heavenly Father knows what's best for me. for Brandon. for my Binkybear.

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a poem i wrote in my 9th grade English class. if i remember correctly, it was an ESL English class. it was so (ahem!) great i got it published on a book. i have a copy to prove my poetic side. :D

i am

i am a wonder girl who likes to give

i wonder what it would be like if i could fly

i hear flowers singing

i see my man as a prince

i want to believe that it takes courage to show my dream to others

i do regret

i am a wonder girl who likes to give

i pretend that i'm strong

i feel like i'm always in the cold

i touch God and feel his deepest love

i worry that my family cannot be together forever

i cry when i see children suffering from hunger

i am a wonder girl who likes to give

i understand how others feel when they're sad

i say let the world be in peace

i dream that one day i will become the real me

i try to always do my best

i hope that life won't be so tough

i am a wonder girl who likes to give.

the end.

hahahahahahaha.

maybe my children will appreciate the poem one day.